i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
