Need sex. Gaining weight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize