...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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