it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
