Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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