so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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