She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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