So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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