How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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