I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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