Me too!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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