All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
