can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
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Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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