Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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