now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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