yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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