Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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