so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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