Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
