is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
