Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I met the friendliest cop last night
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
