3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
