I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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