they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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