Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
