plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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