I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
