Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
