Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
