'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why is there bacon in the couch?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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