he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
