Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just invented taco cereal.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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