Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
ok first of all what the fuck
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
