How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
