It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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