He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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