Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
