on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
