so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's blow job season.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize