some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We need to get me chipped asap
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
