It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
