well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so let's talk penis.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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