dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You ate ashes out of my bong
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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