Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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