State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
