she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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