His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
why is half of my head shaved?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
