i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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