Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
