i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
