dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
