Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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