Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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