No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
