chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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