Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
