hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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