Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
